#5: Your Driving is Making Me Ill

Man, talk about starting a Monday off on the right foot! We were just coming out of the tunnel and all of a sudden I felt this Vince Neil-like presence hovering above me, swaying and saying she felt “awful" (video below). I was afraid that I was going to lose my shit if this woman vomited on me as I was envisioning this woman’s head turning and spewing on me because she was standing right above me and there was nowhere for me to go. I wasn’t going to sit in the dude’s lap* (pic above) sitting next to me. And I was in the front seat of the bus. I was completely stuck in her projectile cross hairs.

While visions of puke danced in my head, the woman was literally unable to stand any longer and thankfully she plopped down on the stairs. The bus driver was mumbling something inaudible, while keeping one eye on the road and one eye on the woman.

When we arrived at the Port Authority the woman stumbled off the bus, somehow managed to walk onto the escalator, and then sat down on the floor when she got off. I asked her if she wanted me to get help. She nodded. I ran and grabbed this dude I always see standing guard. I literally yelled, “Hey! I need your help. There’s a woman who is ill!” He came to look at her and said he would get the police. I was standing there with her until she told me she was OK, that she could wait by herself, but she thanked me.

I hope she's feeling better, and am grateful I arrived spewless to work. #5 down, 162 left!

*Originally, my blog for today was going to be on the tightness of this guy’s pants, hence the reason I took a picture. He may reappear at a later juncture, especially because I still haven’t gone Nancy Drew and solved "The Mystery of How This Man Sits Down." But, seriously, folks, if you had the choice between getting exorcised on, or climbing into this, which would you choose?