Thursday, May 28, 2009

#3: Crazy, Retarded, Racist Cross-Eyed Woman


Actual quote(s) overheard: 

"My gums hurt."

"I like shrimp. My husband got me into it. Except I don't like shrimp cocktail. Uncooked shrimp is disgusting."

"Turn the heat down! I've asked you a hundred times already! Why don't you go back to wherever you came from!"

I'm willing to bet the farm that this woman is legally mentally retarded in some ways, though (amazingly) fully functional. She's even apparently married, since every other sentence mentions this husband, though, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that her "husband" is actually just another word for her imaginary friend . She dresses as though she's blind, but really, she's merely cross-eyed. I would feel bad for her and I would be on my way to hell, save for the fact that she's a racist. One time she threw a bona fide shit fit at the bus driver and yelled at him to go back to "wherever he came from" because the bus wasn't cooling down fast enough to her liking. I've also seen her full-on try and block someone of a darker complexion from sitting next to her. She literally threw her arm across the seat and everything. Either he was a little short bus himself or he just didn't give a shit about the crazy, retarded, racist cross-eyed woman and just sat his brown ass down. She moved her arm just in time. The cherry on top? She sounds like she's drunk: loud as hell, slurred and painfully labored pronunciation of each word. 

#3 down, 164 more to go!

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